How to Propose, Step by Step (With a Ring Timeline)
How to propose, step by step: be sure you're both ready, find the ring size quietly, order the ring at the right time, and plan the moment and the words.
Knowing how to propose comes down to four things: being sure you both want to marry, a ring (or a plan for one), a moment that suits your partner, and a few words you mean. Whether you're working out how to propose to your girlfriend, your boyfriend or your partner, the steps are the same.
The part people leave too late is the ring. Ours take three to four weeks to arrive, and the clock on returns and free resizing starts the day it's delivered. So here's the whole plan in order, with the timing worked out.
1. Make sure you're both ready
A proposal works best as a surprise about the moment, not about the idea of getting married. If you haven't talked about marriage in general terms, like where you'd live, whether you want children and how you'd handle money, have those talks first. You can still keep the when and the how a secret.
2. Find out their ring size quietly
You'll need a size before you order. The easiest way is to borrow a ring they already wear on their ring finger and have a jeweler measure it. Our guide to finding their ring size without asking covers that and the other quiet options, including what to do if you have to guess.
3. Choose the ring, or propose without one
Look at the jewelry they already wear. Do they reach for white metal or yellow gold? Delicate pieces or bold ones? Classic or modern? That tells you more than any trend list.
A solitaire engagement ring, with one diamond on a plain band, is the classic starting point, and it's one of the easiest styles to resize if your size guess is off. Our lab grown diamond engagement rings show the other styles, from halos to three-stone rings. Settle on a budget you're comfortable with before you start looking.
Not sure what they'd love? Some people propose with a simple placeholder ring, or with no ring at all, and choose the real one together afterward. That's still a proposal. And if you're not ready to propose yet, a promise ring marks the commitment without the question.
4. Order the ring at the right time
Our rings take three to four weeks to arrive with free delivery, or two to three weeks with express. Two other dates matter just as much. You can return a ring within 30 days of delivery, and eligible rings get one free resize within the same 30 days. Both clocks start when the ring arrives, not on the day you propose.
So when you're planning a proposal, order early enough that the ring arrives a week or two before the day, but not so early that the 30 days run out before your partner has tried it on.
| When | What to do |
|---|---|
| 6 to 8 weeks before | Talk about the future. Notice what jewelry they wear. Find out their ring size. |
| About 5 weeks before | Choose the ring and order it with free delivery (3 to 4 weeks). |
| About 4 weeks before | The last safe point to order with express delivery (2 to 3 weeks). |
| 1 to 2 weeks before | The ring arrives. Check it against your order and keep it somewhere safe. The 30 days start now. |
| The day | Propose, with most of the 30 days still left in case the ring needs resizing. |
5. Keep the delivery a secret
Every order ships insured, and someone 21 or older has to sign for it, so it won't be left on the doorstep. It arrives in a plain outer box with no branding, which helps. Plan who will sign for it and where: an address where you'll be in, or a trusted friend's. We don't ship to PO boxes.
After that, the best way to keep a secret is to tell as few people as possible. One trusted friend who can help with the ring size or the day is usually plenty.
6. Pick the moment and the place
Think about what your partner would enjoy, not what would look best online. Some people love a big moment with family and friends around; others would hate it. A quiet proposal somewhere that means something to both of you is hard to get wrong. If you'd like photos, a friend or a hired photographer can wait nearby. If you've picked somewhere outdoors, have a backup in mind for bad weather.
7. Know what you'll say
You don't need a speech. Three or four sentences you mean are enough: what your partner means to you, a memory or two, and the question itself, asked plainly. Say their name. Practice it out loud once or twice, so the words are there when you're nervous.
8. Ask the question
Traditionally, the person proposing gets down on one knee, opens the ring box and asks. You don't have to kneel. Do open the box facing your partner, so the ring is the right way up for them, and ask the question clearly before anything else. Then give them a moment to answer.
9. After the yes
Take a minute before you reach for your phone. Then call the people who should hear it from you first.
Two practical jobs follow. First, check the fit. If the ring is too tight or too loose, get in touch while you're inside the 30 days, since eligible rings get one free resize in that window, and some designs can't be resized at all. Resized pieces are final sale. Second, have the ring appraised and insured, so it's covered if it's ever lost or stolen.
If the answer is "not yet"
It happens, and it isn't always a no to the relationship. Sometimes the timing is wrong, or the question came before the talks in step 1. Listen, don't argue, and come back to it when you're both calm. If the ring ends up unused, you can return it within 30 days of delivery, which is one more reason not to order it months ahead.
